so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize