Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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