I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
