I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
