I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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