Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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