Dude my mom stole all your condoms
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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