I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
