just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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