he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
