just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
