Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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