nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
even my farts smell like vagina
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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