fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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