My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
