Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she woke up with a sticky ear
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
