I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
