i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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