They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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