Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
