he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
