I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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