no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
