I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
