That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
