You're so nebulous sometimes
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
