She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
