Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He? As in you personified your dick?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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