I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
