I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
