ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
