Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
