my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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