is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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