Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
soo... how was my night?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
