Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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