yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Say something about gay babies.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
