i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Come share oat with me in your robe
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
