Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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