I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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