but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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