Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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