I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
