And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
