Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
