hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
