No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
