So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
ok first of all what the fuck
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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