He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
