Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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