yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize