So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize