come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we're chasing vodka with high fives
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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