I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
