Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Randomize
