I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
