Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
