Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
