Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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