I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
