I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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