oh god the rape fog is back!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
