just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
